She’s Baaaaack!

December 14, 2009

Hiya. Missed me? I missed you. At least a little. Probably more.

It’s been a week, give or take a minute or two, from the time I decided to take a sabbatical of sorts from the Internet. If you read the last entry, then you know what that was all about. If you didn’t read it, take a minute to read it now and come back to this. I don’t want to bore the rest of the people with a recap.

Well, then, I guess the question is whether I gleaned anything from my time away from the Internet tubes or at least the particular tubes from which I abstained, namely Facebook, Twitter, and the Blogosphere.

Here are some of my thoughts:

Was there a difference in productivity? Yes and no. I know. It can’t just be a simple answer, can it? As I said, I am very productive as it is, so it’s not like I was trying to catch up. It was more of a concern of where my energy and time were going. The thing is, I can indeed be more productive when I am abstaining, but that’s simplifying the issue. The question is about whether being more productive has other costs, like social ones. Sure I read two books, wrote a few abstracts for possible conferences, and reached pro-level on Wii tennis. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

Then again, I am not sure I wouldn’t have accomplished the same had I still been online. I multitask. In the last few years, while I blogged, Facebooked, etc. I still managed to work a lot, write novels, short stories, and articles, conferenced, traveled the world, and managed to have a social life. Not to mention that while being online in the aforementioned sites can indeed be a distraction, the truth is that if one is bent on procrastinating, one can find plenty of other sources for diversion, from reruns of favorite shows to new movies, from video games to …you name it.

Nevertheless, I think there is something to be said for less can be more in terms of time spent online. More quality, less time perhaps. The imperative to be in touch, to not miss updates, and so on can create a dependence of sorts, and I think I have learned that I don’t need to be as present, that when I come back the messages wil be there, the updates will still keep me updated, etc. Maybe this was evident to everyone a long time ago, but when I do something, I don’t do so halfheartedly. Now, I think that I have a new appreciation for moderation and I plan to use it moving forward.

Another thing I discovered is that maybe my sudden aversion, if we can call it that, was spurred by Twitter. It seemed weird to me. I got on it after resisting it for a long time cause I didn’t see the point. Once on it, it was a little bit of a thrill, but it soon appeared that Twitter was a bunch of people talking at the same time, vying for one another’s attention, and the attention of celebrities, pseud0 ones and real ones, and looking for people to follow them even if they have no clue who they are. It’s a very odd little place, I’ll tell you that much. Maybe I have not mastered it, but I am not sure I still want to. Surely, it was kinda cute to have a few exchanges with Jim Carrey, and it was great to get last minute news. Yet, I am not big on celebrity encounters. They are people. People I don’t know, so it’s kinda odd. I can also get last minute news from BBC.com or any other of thousands of sources. Also, I can get most people’s updates on Facebook. It does seem like a little bit of overkill. I have, however, met some cool people. So, jury’s out. I am interested on keeping the account because I think as a media and culture researcher, writer, and professor, I should be involved in the trends in order to understand them better.

Back to the social part of the innernets, the part that I missed. I keep up with people on Facebook and Twitter. I have friends around the world, and talking to them on Facebook or Twitter is a great way to keep in touch. It’s quick; it’s easy; it’s part of my daily life, and I missed being in touch while I was gone. I also like sharing what happens in my life. It’s not that if I don’t share it with other it is not real, or is enough. It’s just that I am an extrovert who gets pumped by people (that sounded wrong, but you know what I mean), and enjoys being gregarious. Same with the blog. I like having a place to plop down my musings and ramble away. I like knowing that you, on the other side, read my rants and are perhaps amused or learn something new, or identify with something I wrote. I do wish sometimes some of you peeps who lurk would stop by and say hi so I know you are there, but I respect that some of you just like to read and remain anonymous. That’s enough for me. Again, here is another opportunity to feel the tug of responsibility. It’s easy to feel like I MUST write, like I am not being prolific enough. Yet, I know that’s mostly in my head, that you guys are a lot more forgiving about my dipping in and out of the blog as needed. So, I’ll keep at it as long as my heart’s in it and you are out there.

There was one last thing I wanted to address before I end this post. I talked about the negativity that I noticed online. I guess there are a few areas here and this could be its own post. Frankly, though, I don’t think I want to dwell on the negative, but these are my thoughts, briefly. Sometimes, when I share, I am vaguely aware that some people might dislike my posts, status updates, etc. for different reasons. One of them, and there is no way of saying this and not sounding somewhat conceited, is that I have a pretty damn good life. That pisses some people off. When I share that I am leaving on yet another trip, I know there are people out there who might resent the fact that I can travel. Apply the same logic to anything else, like an article being published, loving my job, etc. Generally people are happy for you, but I know there can be a certain amount of envy, and I am not even faulting those people for it. Sometimes we feel those little jabs even if we wish the people no harm. Nevertheless, some might take it out in on you in the way they treat you. Yet, life is not perfect, and I think I am an honest blogger and Facebooker. I don’t sugarcoat my life. When shit hits the fan, I share it too (ewww…that sounded awful). So, all I can do is keep being honest and hoping that people will be happy for me and not wish me ill. I cannot, however, control that. On another note, some of the negativity can come from the fact that I have views. I have strong views. I have some radical views. I have many unpopular views. I share these views freely. Sometimes, they bring a shit storm. I get into arguments and discussions. Not just to argue, but because I think the exchange of opinions is important and healthy. Yet, there are people who can’t argue and then go back to being friendly. There are people whose egos and feelings get bruised. There are people who can’t take what I say. I could shut up, but that’s not like me. I don’t want to feel like I am not free to speak my mind. This means some people will dislike me, some might never want to speak to me again. However, the price of having a personality and a worldview is that not everyone will like you. I can live with that. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

BTW, to the two people that jumped ship while I was gone and unfriended me…I have to say, “Nicely played, my little cowards.” Just for the record, you didn’t need to wait until I turned my back. You were always free to go. The same thing goes for anyone in my life. I have said it and I’ll say it again, “I only want in my life those people who want to be there.” The whole trying to slip out unrecognized says a lot about your character. Good riddance. I wish you well, though.

I want to leave you with a quote attributed to Marilyn Monroe that I really love: “”I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”

I love this because even though I am not particularly high on the indexes of any of the above, I think we all have at least a little bit of those in us, and then some, and those who love us should love us because and in spite our imperfections, and those are the people with whom I seek to surround myself.

Wow…that was long. Did anyone read the whole thing???

Love,

Natalia

Today, I am grateful for: Lessons learned and being back online. :)


Hiatus…Of Sorts

December 7, 2009

Reader, I’ve been thinking. (Yea, yeah…insert joke about smoke coming from my head).  If you’ve known me for any amount of time, you know that when I start to think this much it leads to changes in my life.

This time around, I have been pondering my online life. I was an early adopter. I was online when most people were unaware of the Internet as such. I’ve enjoyed meeting people, keeping up with news, posting my thoughts, and many other wonderful things that have come with this technology.

Of late, however, I have been considering when it might be too much. Okay, before shoes start flying my way, hear me out. I have a lot going on in my life, and I have managed to keep up this pace for a long time. I don’t think I spend ridiculous amounts of time online. During the day, I am in front of a computer. Might as well stay connected, right? Even if I am on Twitter, my blog, Facebook, my email, BBC, and Pandora (to name a few) at the same time, I still manage to get more accomplished in one day than most people I know.

It occurred to me, then, that I might be even more productive in ways that I have not imagined if I am not constantly connected. After all, I have a dissertation to finish, a few novels to finish writing and editing, short stories to pitch to editors, a barrage of books to read, and many other things from which I could possibly be taking away time.

It is not just a matter of time, however. I also feel that the Internet can sometimes be full of negativity, attempts at self-glorification and self-marketing, and general toxicity. I feel the need to pull away from that a little bit and regroup.

With these and other things in mind, I am going to attempt a bit of a hiatus. I won’t be blogging, Tweeting, or Facebooking. I’ll still be checking email, so I am not completely gone. It might be a few days or more. It’s not forever. I know I love my online life. I just might need to rethink how I live it. It might mean I learn how to balance things better so that I have more time to commune with 3-D people in my life (not that any of you guys are not 3D) and get some major goals accomplished.

Maybe it’s fair to say that I want my use of my online time to be more deliberate, more purposeful, and less distractive and destructive.

I hope this makes sense. I love you guys and I love the fact that you read my ramblings. I am not going away for good, I am just rebooting and reassessing. I hope you’ll be here when I come back.

Love,

Natalia

Today, I am grateful for: Fresh starts.


She’s a Maniac, Maniac…

December 5, 2009

I bought DDR.

That’s Dance Dance Revolution for those of you not in the know.

Wowza that thing can kick your ass. I hurt a little bit, but I danced danced a lot last night and it was awesome exercise. You gotta love the Wii.

I was a bit disappointed in the other game I bought. Alone in the Dark was not really as much fun. The learning curve for moving the character around is a bit high and I really have no patience for having to learn something that should be easy. If you get stuck during the first few minutes of play, then I kinda lose interest. I might go in to exchange it for something more fun today.

Did I mention I finished NaNoWriMo? I did. Now, I can return to my other novel, which needs work. Yaay!

Also, I am now thinking about taking a few days over the holidays and heading down to New Orleans. A thought.

That’s all folks…for now.

Natalia

Today, I am grateful for: Endorphins from DDRing.


You Can’t Handle The Truth

November 30, 2009

I don’t know whether you have heard, but the neologism “unfriend” has been named the word of the year by the New Oxford American Dictionary.

Facebook has dominated the landscape of  social networking sites, and its inner workings have become of much interest for those of us who dabble in cultural and media studies. A few colleagues and I have been looking at the phenomenon of unfriending, and we’ve been meaning to collect some data so we can go beyond the mere theorizing and move into the real of studying the actual trend.

I thought about someone who had recently unfriended me. Please understand that I don’t keep a watchful eye over my friend list watching for numbers to rise or fall. I simply realized I had been unfriended when a mutual friend congratulated this person on something s/he said on an update, and I thought it was peculiar I’d missed the good news. When I went to check that person’s page to congratulate her/him, I found myself locked out of the page. I thought about it for a few minutes. This person knew me on a professional basis, and I thought we had a fairly good relationship. Nothing deep, but a pleasant, cordial, and  amiable relationship. Why had s/he decided to remove me from her circle? Mind you, I wasn’t upset about it, but merely curious.

With that in mind, I sent this person an email that read:

A few of my colleagues and I are writing a paper about unfriending. I don’t know if you read that it is considered a word that has defined the year.

Since you unfriended me, I thought I’d take the opportunity to get some raw data. Was the unfriending because:

a) You didn’t want to be my friend but felt badly about not accepting my invite and then unfriended me when you had a chance.

b) You felt like we didn’t have much in common or talked much on Facebook, and you want to keep your Facebook as a place to keep in touch with people with whom you are close.

C) You were offended by something I posted or something I said and preferred not to associate with me.

D) Provide your own reason.

Thanks in advance. It would be interesting to be able to provide real answers and not mere guesses when it comes to our research.

This was a few days ago. I have not heard back. I think part of me expected not to hear back, but part of me is still hoping I will. I mean, if you have a mind to tell me you don’t want to be in touch with me by unfriending me, then shouldn’t I be able to know why? Sure, it can make for an awkward conversation, but I thought my email made it easy to just be honest, even if for academic sake. Unfriending is so easy, it’s like paying with someone with a credit card…you don’t have to deal with the consequences right away…or ever.

I’ve had a few people leave my life, not just Facebook, without giving me reasons. Maybe the reasons in that sense might have been more self-evident, but I don’t think it is crazy to ask a person why he or she is no longer interested in your friendship. Not that I would try to stop him or her from leaving me behind. As I always say, I am only interested in having in my life those people who want to be there. The rest can go. And I don’t want to know the reason people leave so that I can change, but it makes for interesting info sometimes.

I wish people were honest and brave with people like me who CAN handle the truth.

Love,

Natalia

Today, I am happy for: Honesty, wherever I can find it.


Serenity In The Pacific Northwest

November 24, 2009

I am back from the Portland area.

Loved it. As I did Seattle.

I was shocked people leave their doors unlocked in the Vancouver, WA area. That can’t happen in Orlando. Yeah, Mickey Mouse’s home is crime-ridden.

I thoroughly enjoyed the whole getting to see New Moon early experience, especially because it was for a good cause: Cancer research.

I was also reminded I am not a Twilight fan. After a while, I was Twilighted out and felt like I might punch the next person who swooned over Edward. I enjoy the series, but I hate the obsession. I’ll probably head out to the Pacific Northwest when my friend does the same event for Eclipse, though.

The whole trip was great overall. I loved the Oregon coast. Wowzer. That really deserves the word awesome.

Good thing the trip went well because the day I left everything went wrong. The taxi I had booked for 5:30 AM wasn’t there when I was ready and when I called them, they said they thought it was a 9 AM call. Really??? Then they lied to me about being 10 minutes away. Finally, after more than 20 minutes, my parents saved the day and took me to the airport. Once there, everyone messed up with checking me in and checking in my luggage. To top it off, while I was waiting in the security line, someone ahead of me was stopped because of something in his luggage. As we waited, no one realized our line was paralyzed and they needed to move us. When it dawned on them, they moved us to a new line. I started moving and, realizing I had moved too quickly, stopped to let the people that were ahead of me go and then took my place. All of a sudden, this dude is yelling that I cut the line. Seriously???? And the people that were in front of and behind me, instead of perking up and telling him to shut up (I had made eye contact with all of them and they knew I belonged there), pretended they were invisible. CHICKENS.

I was only too happy to get out of Orlando, which as my friend says, is an angry little town.

Also, on unrelated news, I am now tweeting and you can follow me or ask me to follow you. I am @NatCherjovsky.

Want some pics??? Here you go:


Milk This, Glut That

November 17, 2009

It’s been two weeks and a few days since I banished gluten and milk from my diet. I feel fantastic.

So, after years of dealing with certain horrid symptoms and listening to doctors who swore I’d have to be on certain pills for the rest of my life, I have found the way to feel better.

Maybe someone should issue me an MD diploma. Seriously.

And the kicker is that the transition was not even that hard. It was all about finding what had gluten and dairy and finding alternatives to those things. I didn’t have to give up that much.

These days, there is cheese, bread, yogurt, and all sorts of other stuff out there. It’s incredible. There’s a whole market for this given the fact that so many people are afflicted with gluten and dairy intolerance.

I am happy I did my research and gave this a try and thankful to my friends who helped me figure this out.

Anyone out there going through this? Drop me a line. There is hope.

Natalia

Today, I am grateful for: Change.


Funny Face

November 15, 2009

There is no way I can say this and have it sound less than awful. I have nothing against ugly people and think we are all beautiful in some way, and that there are all sorts of taste buds (hehe), but it is ridiculous to try to pretend like there aren’t people that are ugly by most standards. Okay. Enough with the preamble.

A friend of mine is dating a really ugly guy. REALLY. I think I would feel sorry for saying this if he was nice, but I don’t like him, so it makes it easier. NOTE: I am not saying he is ugly because I don’t like him. His ugliness would be a fact even if I adored him. NOTE #2: Despite the fact that I think he is an a-hole and that I think she is in it for the wrong reasons, I still wish them the best and hope they are madly in love and happy.

Anyway…she loves to share pictures of them and I can’t help but notice that he makes a face in almost each and every one of them.

This isn’t really a philosophical post. It is just a curiosity whether people who consider themselves ugly feel compelled to make silly faces and whether they think it helps hide their ugliness.

I feel sorry if this is so. No one should be made to feel ugly. Then again, you can’t be made to feel anything you don’t already feel, they say.

There is something to be said for self-awareness, especially given his profession, but then he should also maybe explore self-love.

Just a though. I know…my brain works in a weird way.

Done with being ugly about the ugly guy.

Natalia…out.

Today, I am grateful for: My love for myself regardless of imperfections.


Seeing Red

November 14, 2009

It was time to change my hair.

I am now a redhead again.

It’s such a simple change, but it is amazing how it makes you feel different and refreshed.

Natalia 2.0 ;)

Today, I m grateful for: Not listening to stupid people years ago who said that changing my hair colour after a certain age was a demonstration of lack of maturity. Seriously, just because you never looked good in any other shade! Jealous people with stupid rules about what makes us mature. :) Ahhh. Good riddance. :)

Here’s the pic.

Red


That’s How I Roll

November 10, 2009

Last minute travel plans.

My friend April is putting together a fundraising event for a children’s cancer research foundation. The event itself is an early screening of New Moon.

WOOT!

This is all going on in Vancouver, WA, where she lives. This is also mega close to Portland, which I have been meaning to visit.

Ergo, me on a plane next week to jet over to the Portland area to take part in the fundraising and to get to see New Moon early without fighting the masses of hormone-crazy tweens.

Double woot.

Also, since I’m heading out there anyway, I am making it a long weekend so that April and I can do some exploring of the area.

Triple woot.

Pictures to come.

Love,

Natalia

Today, I am grateful for: Serendipity.


Ice, Ice, Baby

November 7, 2009

I am seriously giving thought to going to Iceland for winter break.

People have told me I am crazy because it’s cold and dark for a great part of the day.

Is that supposed to turn me off? Do they know me? I live for the cold and the dark.

Yes, I did even think about the fact that it would be a perfect setting for a vampire story. :)

Does anyone want to come along? Let me know.

Love,

Natalia

Today, I am grateful for: Having removed diary, gluten, and wheat from my diet.