Hiya. Missed me? I missed you. At least a little. Probably more.
It’s been a week, give or take a minute or two, from the time I decided to take a sabbatical of sorts from the Internet. If you read the last entry, then you know what that was all about. If you didn’t read it, take a minute to read it now and come back to this. I don’t want to bore the rest of the people with a recap.
Well, then, I guess the question is whether I gleaned anything from my time away from the Internet tubes or at least the particular tubes from which I abstained, namely Facebook, Twitter, and the Blogosphere.
Here are some of my thoughts:
Was there a difference in productivity? Yes and no. I know. It can’t just be a simple answer, can it? As I said, I am very productive as it is, so it’s not like I was trying to catch up. It was more of a concern of where my energy and time were going. The thing is, I can indeed be more productive when I am abstaining, but that’s simplifying the issue. The question is about whether being more productive has other costs, like social ones. Sure I read two books, wrote a few abstracts for possible conferences, and reached pro-level on Wii tennis. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
Then again, I am not sure I wouldn’t have accomplished the same had I still been online. I multitask. In the last few years, while I blogged, Facebooked, etc. I still managed to work a lot, write novels, short stories, and articles, conferenced, traveled the world, and managed to have a social life. Not to mention that while being online in the aforementioned sites can indeed be a distraction, the truth is that if one is bent on procrastinating, one can find plenty of other sources for diversion, from reruns of favorite shows to new movies, from video games to …you name it.
Nevertheless, I think there is something to be said for less can be more in terms of time spent online. More quality, less time perhaps. The imperative to be in touch, to not miss updates, and so on can create a dependence of sorts, and I think I have learned that I don’t need to be as present, that when I come back the messages wil be there, the updates will still keep me updated, etc. Maybe this was evident to everyone a long time ago, but when I do something, I don’t do so halfheartedly. Now, I think that I have a new appreciation for moderation and I plan to use it moving forward.
Another thing I discovered is that maybe my sudden aversion, if we can call it that, was spurred by Twitter. It seemed weird to me. I got on it after resisting it for a long time cause I didn’t see the point. Once on it, it was a little bit of a thrill, but it soon appeared that Twitter was a bunch of people talking at the same time, vying for one another’s attention, and the attention of celebrities, pseud0 ones and real ones, and looking for people to follow them even if they have no clue who they are. It’s a very odd little place, I’ll tell you that much. Maybe I have not mastered it, but I am not sure I still want to. Surely, it was kinda cute to have a few exchanges with Jim Carrey, and it was great to get last minute news. Yet, I am not big on celebrity encounters. They are people. People I don’t know, so it’s kinda odd. I can also get last minute news from BBC.com or any other of thousands of sources. Also, I can get most people’s updates on Facebook. It does seem like a little bit of overkill. I have, however, met some cool people. So, jury’s out. I am interested on keeping the account because I think as a media and culture researcher, writer, and professor, I should be involved in the trends in order to understand them better.
Back to the social part of the innernets, the part that I missed. I keep up with people on Facebook and Twitter. I have friends around the world, and talking to them on Facebook or Twitter is a great way to keep in touch. It’s quick; it’s easy; it’s part of my daily life, and I missed being in touch while I was gone. I also like sharing what happens in my life. It’s not that if I don’t share it with other it is not real, or is enough. It’s just that I am an extrovert who gets pumped by people (that sounded wrong, but you know what I mean), and enjoys being gregarious. Same with the blog. I like having a place to plop down my musings and ramble away. I like knowing that you, on the other side, read my rants and are perhaps amused or learn something new, or identify with something I wrote. I do wish sometimes some of you peeps who lurk would stop by and say hi so I know you are there, but I respect that some of you just like to read and remain anonymous. That’s enough for me. Again, here is another opportunity to feel the tug of responsibility. It’s easy to feel like I MUST write, like I am not being prolific enough. Yet, I know that’s mostly in my head, that you guys are a lot more forgiving about my dipping in and out of the blog as needed. So, I’ll keep at it as long as my heart’s in it and you are out there.
There was one last thing I wanted to address before I end this post. I talked about the negativity that I noticed online. I guess there are a few areas here and this could be its own post. Frankly, though, I don’t think I want to dwell on the negative, but these are my thoughts, briefly. Sometimes, when I share, I am vaguely aware that some people might dislike my posts, status updates, etc. for different reasons. One of them, and there is no way of saying this and not sounding somewhat conceited, is that I have a pretty damn good life. That pisses some people off. When I share that I am leaving on yet another trip, I know there are people out there who might resent the fact that I can travel. Apply the same logic to anything else, like an article being published, loving my job, etc. Generally people are happy for you, but I know there can be a certain amount of envy, and I am not even faulting those people for it. Sometimes we feel those little jabs even if we wish the people no harm. Nevertheless, some might take it out in on you in the way they treat you. Yet, life is not perfect, and I think I am an honest blogger and Facebooker. I don’t sugarcoat my life. When shit hits the fan, I share it too (ewww…that sounded awful). So, all I can do is keep being honest and hoping that people will be happy for me and not wish me ill. I cannot, however, control that. On another note, some of the negativity can come from the fact that I have views. I have strong views. I have some radical views. I have many unpopular views. I share these views freely. Sometimes, they bring a shit storm. I get into arguments and discussions. Not just to argue, but because I think the exchange of opinions is important and healthy. Yet, there are people who can’t argue and then go back to being friendly. There are people whose egos and feelings get bruised. There are people who can’t take what I say. I could shut up, but that’s not like me. I don’t want to feel like I am not free to speak my mind. This means some people will dislike me, some might never want to speak to me again. However, the price of having a personality and a worldview is that not everyone will like you. I can live with that. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
BTW, to the two people that jumped ship while I was gone and unfriended me…I have to say, “Nicely played, my little cowards.” Just for the record, you didn’t need to wait until I turned my back. You were always free to go. The same thing goes for anyone in my life. I have said it and I’ll say it again, “I only want in my life those people who want to be there.” The whole trying to slip out unrecognized says a lot about your character. Good riddance. I wish you well, though.
I want to leave you with a quote attributed to Marilyn Monroe that I really love: “”I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”
I love this because even though I am not particularly high on the indexes of any of the above, I think we all have at least a little bit of those in us, and then some, and those who love us should love us because and in spite our imperfections, and those are the people with whom I seek to surround myself.
Wow…that was long. Did anyone read the whole thing???
Love,
Natalia
Today, I am grateful for: Lessons learned and being back online. 
Posted by Natalia C. 
